The Mississippi Delta, New Orleans, South Side of Chicago, and Surrey (England) all seem to have something in common; the Blues.

Yes I know, the English are not well known for singing the Blues, mostly because English people can’t cut a groove like Muddy Waters or Buddy Guy could. Though, I suppose you could say that Led Zepplin was technically a modern take off of the blues band, but thats another post alltogether.

Yes, the English do not sing the blues, but boy oh boy do they LIVE it. Especially in Winter. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve lived in some fairly miserable places in my time. Prague, for one, is a complete misery in the winter: snow drifts as far as the eye can see, cold snaps that last for weeks, and of course the joy of getting infected by the dreaded “Prague Death Cough”. Whats PDC you say? Well, the Prague Death Cough can only be understood by one who has lived it. You get PDC simply by living in Prague during the Winter. Back in the day, the Czechs used to burn the worst variant of coal imaginable, as such the sky would turn a hazy brown for months on end. This in turn, made you vulnerable to catching the Prague Death Cough; a cough so vile, it would last for weeks, sometimes months. The only cure? Excessive amounts of smoking and beer. No, I’m not kidding.

So, while living in Prague would/could make you ill, at least you had the benefit of copius amounts of cheap booze to settle you down (as well as a great deal of woman who would continue to wear miniskirts, despite the arctic conditions). What do we have here in England to cheer us up?

In a nutshell, this describes my daily grind:

1. Wake up, its pitch black outside. Commute to work.
2. Shove self into already packed train. No need to hold onto a handrail (much less find a seat), the concentration of other commuters will keep you upright.
3. Pray to god no one gets off as you will be trampled from behind.
4. Sit on train while no one, not a single person, speaks to anyone else. If you attempt to start any form of conversation, even if it is to comment on the weather or the terrible commuting, you will be arrested, leared at, or shot.
5. Arrive at work, still dark outside.
6. Leave for home. Already pitch black outside.
7. Shove self into train. Enjoy being crammed next to visibly drunk commuters.
8. Unlike before, you can enjoy pleanty of conversations. Most of these are from drunks threatening other commuters for taking up too much seat space, or for stepping on ones shoes.
9. Leave the train, only to find that has started to rain. You left the umbrella at work.
10. Return home, collapse on couch only to be forced to watch endless reality shows like, “I’m a worthless C-level Celebrity that you don’t remember and now I have so little pride all I can do is this show in the jungle so Get Me Out of Here.”

This goes on for months and months. Until the Summer comes of course! Then, for two short weeks, the Sun beems over the entire country and people suddenly start wearing next to nothing, they drink even more booze, and become….almost chatty.

But of course, Summer in England lasts only two weeks a year, which is what makes the Winters so downright miserable.

Can someone remind me why I live here again?